Kirjoittaja Aihe: A Pretty Picture (in English, Teddy/James jr., k-11)  (Luettu 2135 kertaa)

pihlajanmarja

  • Cool, jee jee
  • ***
  • Viestejä: 1 708
Name/Nimi: A Pretty Picture
Writer/Kirjoittaja: Me, me, me! (pihlajanmarja)
Rating/Ikäraja: k-11
Pairing/Paritus: Teddy/James jr.
Genre: fluffy and maybe humor/fluffya ja vähän huumoria
Summary: James finds some old pictures of Teddy and suddenly he notices that his godbrother is very good-looking. He tries to avoid Teddy but that doesn't work out as well as he planned...
A/N: I just wanted to try something different, so I started writing a fic in English. If you see any mistakes I'd be glad if you told me about them. I know nothing about the commas in English so I'm worried did they go right. Most of the time I just didn't use them at all if I didn't know should I use them or not.

A/N suomeksi: Okei, tämä nyt ainakin on jotain ihan uutta miulle, nimittäin englanniksi ficin kirjoittaminen. Miten pilkut menee englannissa? Olen ihan pihalla niistä pilkkusäännöistä, ja se on hämmentävää, kun suomeksi olen niin pilkunnussija. Ja tämä juoni ei tosiaankaan ole kovin omaperäinen, mutta tarkoitukseni olikin vaan kokeilla englanniksi kirjoittamista. Se tuntui sujuvan, ja olen tyytyväinen lopputulokseen, mutta luultavasti siellä on vieläkin paljon virheitä. Jos joku haluaa betailla tämän näin jälkikäteen, niin sanokoon vaan miulle! :)


It all started when James found a shoebox full of old photos. Most of them were from the time before James had been even born, but there were some with him, too. They were photos of Teddy. Teddy as a new-born baby, toddler Teddy playing with his godfather, Teddy’s fifth birthday, Teddy holding a baby - James with a big grin on his face, eleven-year-old Teddy at the platform 9 ¾, looking a bit worried. First James just laughed at the photos. When did his mother have such a stupid haircut, and what the hell was Harry wearing in that one picture? But then, when Teddy just grew older and older before his eyes, he noticed something else. Teddy was a good-looking bloke. Really good-looking. When James found one with 16-year-old Teddy on a beach, wearing only a towel around him, he couldn’t look away. The picture made James blush. This was wrong. James had been only 9 when that picture was taken. He remembered that day. It had been warm and sunny and Teddy had thrown him in the lake. It had been a good day. But he hadn’t remembered that Teddy had been so... hot.  Of course he didn’t remember it! After all, a 9-year-old boy noticed only how cool and grown-up and funny Teddy was. The looks weren’t important at all. Now it was different. James was turning soon 18, and he knew he was gay, and he knew when people were hot and when not. James had to put the picture quickly away and try not to think about it.

The next time he met Teddy he had to admit that on the age of 25 Teddy looked even better than in the picture. Luckily there were other people around. The summer holidays had just started, and the whole Weasley-Potter-family was gathered in the same place: the Burrow. They were sitting in the garden talking, and the place was crowded. It was easy for James to avoid Teddy but he still knew that he was there, and he looked good. And would look even better without that shirt on...

“Dear, are you okay?” James’s mum asked from the other side of the table. “You look flushed.”

“I’m fine. It’s just a bit too warm in here.”

“Maybe you should go swimming,” Ginny suggested. “You can ask Teddy to come with you. He’s been so down after Victoria left him and moved to France, and you always manage to cheer him up.”

Before James had the time to say no, no and no! Ginny had already called out to Teddy: “Honey, do you want to go swimming with James?” Of course Teddy said yes. How bad was James' luck today? He didn’t want to see Teddy half naked and wet. Well, actually, he did want it, but it really wouldn’t do any good.

“I just have to grab my towel from inside, wait a minute.”

“James, did you know that we sleep in the same room? I have to get my towel too,” Teddy said amused. “What is wrong with you today? Problems with your love life?”

“What love life,” James mumbled. “Let’s just go.”

“Oh, okay,” Teddy said and shrugged. The shrugging looked good, if you asked James. How could one picture cause so much harm?

When they arrived to the beach Teddy started stripping off his clothes. James did the same and looked in the opposite direction from Teddy. He could do this. It should be a piece of cake. He had been swimming with Teddy hundreds of times before, how could this time be different from the others? Suddenly a hand appeared on his shoulder. James flinched. That couldn’t be left unnoticed, and he knew it. But to his surprise Teddy didn’t ask why he had flinched. He just yelled: “The one who’s last in the water is an old man!”

“Very original,” James said and rolled his eyes. And then he started running.

“Hey, I didn’t say go!” he heard Teddy yell from behind him, but didn’t care. He was going to win this game. He was going to win this game, and also the game in his head. He was going to think about Teddy only as a godbrother, nothing else.

And then he stumbled and was suddenly lying in the beach. The sand was hard. It looked soft, but when you were James Sirius Potter and lusting after your godbother you really had to find the one place to land on where sand wasn’t soft. James didn’t bother to stand up. What was the point? The day had gone bollocks from the very beginning. What good could it bring anymore? It was better to just stay still, close your eyes and try to think happy thoughts. Teddy in a towel. Teddy without a towel. Oh, bugger.

“James? James! Oh fuck, are you okay? You don’t look okay.” James felt hands on him, and then Teddy turned him on his back. James didn’t open his eyes. If Teddy wanted to look after him, well, okay.

“I don’t know what is wrong with me. I think I fell very hard, because now I can’t open my eyes.” James knew that Teddy didn’t believe him.

“Okay, stop joking. I really was worried about you, you tosser. Open your eyes and look at me.”

“I don’t want to look at you,” James said. He wanted to be five again and start a crying fit right there. “I want to keep my eyes closed.”

James heard Teddy sigh.

“Well, okay, then. Why don’t you want to look at me? Am I not good-looking enough?”

“You are too good-looking,” James answered quietly.

“Oh. Oh! Oh.”

“You can say it as many times as you want but it doesn’t change the fact that I think I have a tiny crush on you and if I open my eyes I might want to kiss you and you don’t want it right now, or ever,” James said really fast. He wanted this out of his system.

“Actually... If you were someone else I would love it if you kissed me.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better,” James said and opened his eyes a little bit. He saw Teddy looking at him. Teddy looked nervous. He was worrying his lower lip and his eyes were cast at James’ mouth. “What do you mean by someone else? Do you imply that you would love to snog anyone else but me?”

Now Teddy noticed that James’ eyes were open and Teddy looked at them, not at his mouth anymore.

“No, of course it doesn’t. It means that if you were older, and not Harry Potter’s son, I’d be snogging you right at this moment.”

“They are not important things about me,” James said. Now he actually felt better but he would feel even better if Teddy kissed him. “And the important things are what make you want to kiss me, aren’t they?”

“Isn’t age important? Or the fact that your father would hate me if he knew about this?”

“My father isn’t here now,” James said. “And I’m of age.”

“It would be wrong.”

“Really wrong,” James nodded. “Didn’t you plan most of the pranks that you and your friends made at Hogwards? And didn’t you love planning them? Well, they were wrong too. And the wrongness was the thing that made them fun, wasn’t it?”

Teddy was hesitating, James could see it. And James knew that when you saw Teddy Lupin hesitating, you could be almost sure that you had won the conversation.

“I think you could have lots of detentions if we started snogging right here. Detentions with me, Lupin. Can you imagine McGonagall’s face? She would be really angry.”

“Fucking hell, James!” Teddy laughed. “Stop it, or I really will kiss you.”

“You don’t have to if I do”, James said. And then he kissed Teddy.  And it was nice. There should have been pictures about this in the shoebox.
« Viimeksi muokattu: 16.11.2014 00:05:54 kirjoittanut Unohtumaton »
I've got blisters on my fingers!

pihlajanmarja

  • Cool, jee jee
  • ***
  • Viestejä: 1 708
Vs: A Pretty Picture
« Vastaus #1 : 04.10.2010 17:27:31 »
Oo, kiitos kommentista, Scintilla! Miustakin englanninkielinen dialogi on jotenkin tosi sujuvaa ja kivaa, englanniks on helppo kuvata just jotain poikamaista jutustelua. Kiva ettei vielä löytynyt edes kauheasti virheitä vaikka vieraalla kielellä kirjoitinkin. :) En oo kovin tottunut kuvailemaan suudelmia, yleensä jätän ne vaan noin, en tiedä mistä se tapa on tullut. Ja kyllähän mie sitä kuvailin - And it was nice. ;D Mutta tosi kiva että etsit miulta vielä tän toisenkin James/Teddyn, ja kiva kun pidit! :)
I've got blisters on my fingers!

creep

  • ***
  • Viestejä: 418
Vs: A Pretty Picture
« Vastaus #2 : 11.03.2011 20:20:53 »
Aa, oon lukenut tän kerran aiemminkin, mutta nyt jopa vaivauduin kommentoimaan...
Teddy/James Sirius on ehdottomasti yksi parhaista parituksista ja sitä pitäisi olla enemmän!  ;D
Anyways, about the fic... bongasin jonkin verran virheitä. Enkussa vuorosanoissa pilkku tulee lainausmerkkien sisään. Jep, itsekin opin tuon vasta nyt lukion kakkosella...  ;D
Esim. tää:

Lainaus
“Maybe you should go swimming”, Ginny suggested.

tulis näin: "Maybe you should go swimming," Ginny suggested.


Lainaus
“James, did you know that we sleep in a same room?

In the same room. En tietenkään osaa selittää, että miksi näin, mutta... ainakin se kuulostaa paremmalta, eh?

Lainaus
Can you imagine McGarmiwa’s face? He would be really angry.”
McGonagall enkuksi. Ja hänhän on she, eikös?  :D

Lainaus
How bad was James's luck today?
Tuon virheen bongasin useaan otteeseen. Jos on henkilö, jonka nimi loppuu s-kirjaimeen, ei tarvita tuota ylimääräistä ässää.
Eli näin: How bad was James' luck today?

Mutta muita virheitä en pahemmin bongannut. Ja noista pilkuista... voin myöntää, että vaikka nuo opetettiinkin viime enkun kurssilla, niin ainoa, mikä mulla jäi päähän oli opettajan neuvo: "Jos et oo varma, että tuleeko pilkkua vai eikö, niin jätä mieluummin laittamatta."  ;D

Ja itse sisällöstä sen verran, että tykkäsin. Noin yleensä teksti oli sujuvaa ja helppolukuista, oli jotenkin ihanaa huomata, että olit käyttänyt brittienklantia, esim. "bollocks"... Jotenkin enklanti sopi tähän tosi hyvin, etenkin noille hahmoille.
Aaa, en osaa sanoa muuta kuin että: kiitos tästä ja kirjoita toki ihmeessä lisää Teddy/James Siriusta, enklanniksi taikka suomeksi. ^^
i'm just a painting that's still wet, if you touch me i'll be smeared

pihlajanmarja

  • Cool, jee jee
  • ***
  • Viestejä: 1 708
Vs: A Pretty Picture
« Vastaus #3 : 11.03.2011 20:47:09 »
creep, kiitos tosi paljon kommentista! Varsinkin noista virheiden bongailuista. <3 Itse huomasin nyt kun luin tän uudestaan että tuolla oli aika paljon noita huolimattomuusvirheitä joita en huomannut vielä vuosi sitten, jännää. Onkohan miun kielitaito parantunut.. Aina voi toivoa. ::) Mutta tuo McGarmiwa tuolla on aika nolo tosiaan! Ja vielä he, huhhuh. :DD Mullekin jäi tuosta enkun kurssista mieleen kun sen kävin ennen joulua "when in doubt, leave it out" -lause. :D Ja kiva että tykkäät brittienglannista, minä tykkään myös. Teddy/James Siriusta on kyllä ihan liian vähän missään!
I've got blisters on my fingers!

neww

  • Vieras
Vs: A Pretty Picture
« Vastaus #4 : 13.03.2011 12:08:06 »
Ensinnäkin voin sanoa, että teksti oli hyvää, ja vaikka siellä olisi ollut miljoonasti virheitä, en nähtävästi olisi tajunnut niitä koska englannin kieleni nyt on mitä on.. Ihme kyllä että sain tämä koko tekstin luettua läpi eikä kertaakaan tullut semmoista "häh, mitäs toi nyt tarkoittaa"-tunnetta. Eli ymmärrän englantia mutten osaa kirjoittaa/puhua sitä, errhm. Joten voit varmaan ymmärtää kunnioitukseni kun kirjoitit englanninkielisin ficin, josta vielä tykkäsin. (eli toisinsanoen olet jumala ; osaat kirjoittaa englanniksi plus että olet lahjakas kirjoittaja. okei tää kuulostaa nyt samalle muttei se ole. oot hyvä enkus ja hyvä kirjoittaa. niin.) Tekstistä välitty tunnelmaa ja se oli aivan loistava! (: En ole ikinä ennen tätä edes ajattelut Teddy/James -paritusta ja oooh, täähän on hyvä.

Lainaus
“Fucking hell, James!” Teddy laughed. “Stop it, or I really will kiss you.”
;_______; sulin.

pihlajanmarja

  • Cool, jee jee
  • ***
  • Viestejä: 1 708
Vs: A Pretty Picture
« Vastaus #5 : 13.03.2011 13:13:59 »
Kiitos kommentista, neww! Hui mitä kehuja, ihan tässä punastelee.. :D
I've got blisters on my fingers!