Title: A Need for Truth
Author: Winga (flying_winga on LJ)
Genre: drama, little fluff, poetry
Rating: S
Pairing: Ron/Harry (kind of one-sided Ginny/Harry)
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, Rowling does. Written for fun, not for profit.
A/N: Written for turkinpippuri. And it's a bit longer than I thought. Slash10:iin!
A Need for Truth
His hand touches my knee.
Whether it is on purpose or not, I do not know.
But hidden he does it, no one can see.
He does not want them to know, his feelings will not show.
I do not know how long this will last,
our relationship as whole, I mean.
I love him and I wish this will not end fast.
And how I hate to see him with Ginevra, it turns me green.
For weeks I have wondered his love for me.
I do not even know how real it is.
I know that I myself want with him to be,
that my body and soul are only his.
”What is on your mind?
You seem to be in your own world in your head.”
I turn only to find
Hermione watching me and in her eyes doubt if I heard what she said.
”Oh, just nothing, plain nothing,”
I answer but know she will not believe me.
”Many things, I'd say. Please, out with everything!”
she demands and I sigh and I obey afraid to flee.
”I must ask, before I start, whether or not you know I'm dating?”
Slowly, she shakes her head as I knew she would.
”Well, I am, and I really hope it is not just a fling.
And had you known, I would have asked how you could.”
She stares at me, blinks once, twice, and says:
”Please, do go on, Ron. I want to help you.”
And I know I could say no in so many ways
but I won't, only say: ”I hope you can help, too.”
And I begin, I tell her how I fell in love with him,
how we began dating deciding to keep it a secret,
how seeing him with Ginny makes me so grim
and how sometimes this relationship I do regret.
She listens to me, making mental notes, I know
and when I have told her everything, she cries out:
”Oh, how men are so difficult and now they row!
Now I just want to shake Harry and at him shout!”
And with those words she comes and hugs me
promising: ”All will end well, I will see to that.”
And it is not until then that she needs to flee,
”See me later,” she says leaving me with her cat.
And I can but wonder what on earth shall she do now
and whether it was or was not a good thing to talk.
Of course I had to tell her but was this how?
Oh, I must think, maybe I'll go for a walk.
***
”O! How thou hurt me with thy words!
Before I compared thy voice to the singing of the birds.
Now thou just hit me with thy beautiful sound,
how I wish thou would come back to me and around.”
I do not know what happens behind the corner,
think only that should I go there I would interrupt something.
Thus I turn, my chills leaving me, I'm getting warmer
for it was cold outside, nearly freezing.
Then it hits me, I know that voice, the one speaking.
It is the one of Ginevra's, but what meant her words?
I have to walk back, I need to see the people talking,
need to know whose voice is better than the singing of the birds.
So I walk slowly back and a voice, so familiar, starts to speak
and the voice makes my heart melt
and the words he says makes me want to shriek.
I move closer and see he's knelt.
”Oh, my dearest friend, that thou are
I can't say that as a couple we'd go far.
So that is why I believe we ought just be friends
not lovers, we couldn't, nor fiends.”
I finally have my answer and at least I now know
he doesn't love Ginny but does he love me?
I can not just go there and myself show,
I know this and smile and flee.
***
Later that evening Hermione talks to me
and she sees I've found out something,
I tell her what and she says: ”You must be
so happy and you should ask if for him this is just a fling.”
I know she's right but I can't just ask him about it
and she knows what I think and sighs and begins:
”If you can't or won't do this then just sit
and I'll ask him.” She grins.
”But-but-but-but,” I try to say she shouldn't,
she tuts at me, says: ”No buts, Ron-dear.
I'll just say you couldn't
ask yourself, that you were filled with fear.”
I can but stare at her when she goes
to Ginny and Harry and my sister leaves them alone
and I sigh: ”Woe is me, oh nose,”
and I can hear her tone.
Harry turns to see me, surprised, I see in his eyes,
and he smiles at me and says something to her ear
and slowly I start to rise,
I need to go to him and get rid of my fear.
Hermione turns to face me as I get close
and she grins, again, saying: ”He loves you,”
and she pushes us towards bedrooms, ”Close
the door, will you?” I hear her say and Harry does, too.
Alone, together, anyway you see it,
we awkwardly stand there and at the same moment we say:
”I- you first,” and our faces have lit.
”You first,” he says again and I obey.
”What did Hermione say to you?
Did she tell how unsure I was of your feelings?"
”She said I was stupid and I know that, too.
She told me you thought you were one of my flings.”
”But you love me, she said.
I want to know, is that really true?”
”Yes, I couldn't be paid
to lie things like that about you.”
I smile like a lunatic and I take his hand
and I kiss his lips
and he kisses back and
his hands are on my hips.
”I want everyone to know about – this,”
between the kisses I manage to say,
”I don't want them to miss
the perfect time of our lives, in a way.”
He nods kissing me here and there and everywhere
and then he backs a bit and looks me in the eyes.
”I love you so much, I want to be with you always and everywhere,”
and I believe him, he couldn't tell that kind of lies
and I say I love him too, now and forever
and I kiss him again and he leads me to his bed
and I don't want to let go of him ever
as he and I fall on the bed and he caresses my head.
