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Originaalit => Pergamentinpala => Aiheen aloitti: dimples - 16.09.2008 08:14:09
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Title: Liar, liar
Author: Larabella (=Laura)
Pairing: -
Rating: K-11
Genre: angst, romance, drama
Warnings: death, suicide (vasta myöhemmässä kappaleessa)
Summary: He cheated, she feels like crap, problems ensue.
A/N Tämä on joskus angsti-ajoiltani jäänyt kipale, jota nyt päätin jatkaa. Ja omasta mielestä tuo rivistys kusee, mutta olkoon. :P
Liar, liar
“But baby, I’m telling you, it wasn’t me…”
Yeah, yeah, don’t try to convince me, I know that you lied and cheated. You took my trust and rip it in pieces, how could you be so cruel, so cold?
I do not know.
I guess you found something better than me, something more beautiful than me perhaps? I caught you on the act, and still you try to lie your way out of it, aren’t you ashamed of yourself at all? I’d like to say that I’m over you, that you’re just a bad and nearly forgotten memory, but that would be lying, and that’s a thing I don’t wish to do.
‘Cause that’s what you did, and the pain that it caused me I won’t give to anyone else, I’m not like you.
I’m not perfect either, nobody is.
I have my faults and weaknesses; one of them was the fact that I believed your daily, weekly, monthly and possibly even yearly lies.
You used me like a tool for your own advantage and after you threw me away like an old blanket filled with holes.
I’m tired of being treated like this, but there seems to be no boundaries to your selfishness.
It’s time for me to leave this God forsaken place, forever.
And with that I shall take my leave, as sad as it is, you have to find someone else to play with. I regret nothing, well almost nothing.
The only thing I curse myself down to hell for is the fact that I believed that you were the one for me, and that I loved you.
You told me you loved me, that I was the one and only for you.
Actually you just came for the one thing guys want, and when you got it, you threw me away like I was a piece of paper. I was hurt at first, but with the years alone I’ve learned not to trust everything in front of my eyes and get to know people before jumping in to conclusions.
Someone might say that’s good thing, but I think different. I can’t describe the feeling I get when somebody I trust touches me and I immediately imagine you in their place and scare them away just like that.
I walk these empty streets in the poring rain, with only the silence as my company and support at my dark and hard times. My partly soaked dark hair sticks to my neck producing an uncomfortable state. My phone wakes me from my thoughts with it’s demanding for an answer tone of ring.
I take out my pocket and look at the screen: The letters on the screen form your name and it flashes at the same time with my boring ringtone: What are you thinking, trying to reach after what happened? You must be going mad.
I’m sure that you’ve just come with another lie to convince me to come back and give you what you want. I press the red phone symbol gently and turn my phone off, just in case you’re gonna try again.
My steps are slow, slower than they normally are; the reason is that, what’s the rush? You were the only thing that got me up in the morning, now that you are no more, what’s the meaning of my life? I feel a salty and bitter tear running across my cheek and down my chin and it finally hits me: I don’t have your shoulder to cry on anymore. The place of anger in my soul is suddenly taken over by distant sorrow. My tear is accompanied by a second; the third is the one that I have time to wipe away before I burst in to a silent weep.
My luck seems to be turning: I happen to come across a canopy; maybe there is a God after all. I sit down against the wall under the canopy and take a few deep breaths. I have to get myself together, if I’m gonna go through with my plans to the end. I wipe away my tears and blink a few times to get my crying to stop. There’s no time or reason to be crying over this, you’re not worth my tears. Finally, after a few small weeps and whimpers, I get myself under control, and concentrating on the task at hand.
I feel the bulge in my jacket’s front pocket, and take out the cold, metal-based object. It shines in the moonlight, so beautiful and sensitive, yet so deadly and fatal. And in the wrong hands, can be used for the wrong reasons. Not that my own reasons would be right, they’re just necessary.
Inside, there is a single silver bullet. A bullet which was originally meant for you, but then I thought ‘Hey, I’m no murderer, better save it for something else’
And this is my “something else”, ha. How pathetic am I? But I can’t just let the damn bullet go to waste, I paid a small fortune for it, you know.
But what do I have worth living for anymore? You were my life, my everything. But it’s about time for me to let go, and this is one way to do it, right?
But there is one thing I need to do before I can ‘let go’ so to speak. I take out my black iPod (wherever I go, goes my iPod), and put on the crappy headphones that usually come with iPods. I select my favourite song, the one that always takes me to a place where I can’t be harmed, where everything’s perfect.
The song begins and the low bass starts banging in my head. I close my eyes and start nodding my head in rhythm with the music, losing track of time and everything else around me. The voice of the female singer seems to echo in every corner of my body, it enchants me with every sentence. Every time I hear this song, it feels like the sky’s the limit, and sometimes there are no limits at all.
As the second chorus in the song reaches it’s end, and now there’s only about a minute until the song ends, I start to panic a bit. In a moment there will be nothing to hold back the inevitable; it will be time, but not yet. Now I’m just enjoying my last moments on Earth.
A/N Parituksia saa ehdottaa, jos tuosta nyt jotain tuli mieleen, saa olla vaikka slashiä, vaikka tuo summary nyt jotain muuta vihjaakin. ;)